Her Ladyship's Wife

I overheard one of the groundkeepers making an extremely lewd comment about her ladyship’s choice of companion this morning and so I had him dismissed and made sure to call a meeting of all the staff to make sure such disgraceful misconduct would not be happening again.

While it is somewhat, irregular, it is one’s duty - and one’s pleasure to do so - to make sure that her ladyship is always happy. While her choices may leave some things to be desired and have caused some considerable problems for the family, I have always stood by her and watched over her and I would have no slandering of her in her own household.

I’ve been with her ladyship since before she was born, when I was originally serving her mother. Her ladyship likes to joke that she has inherited me like a family heirloom, a not entirely inaccurate analogy one’s sure.

It’s almost unimaginable that such words would have passed a groundkeepers lips, on duty no less. In my younger years serving her ladyship’s mother, the thought would never have even formed in the man’s head, let alone such an obscenity actually reach another ear. Such is modern times. The trouble all started when her ladyship got married.

Of course, one would care to wonder why on God’s Earth a royal wedding would cause such distasteful events to occur, a ponderance I intend satisfy in these humble notes of mine. The family had been keeping her ladyship’s relationship secret, afraid of scandal, something which they were often afflicted with through no fault of their own. However, her ladyship was not to be kept and she refused to back down. Despite the trouble it caused and the tension amongst the other family members, one must admit one felt proud of her.

Her ladyship had been courting her lady for a number of years and with the advent of the civil partnership, her ladyship and her lady friend decided they would get married. Even the royal resources can only stretch so far, but hiding a royal wedding was quite impossible. Of course, once would expect there to be a terrible scandal, a media blitz I believe may be the term. There was much outrage and I am ashamed to say that several of the staff handed in their resignations. Obviously one must have some failings in one’s judgement to hire such bigots.

However, as with all things, the initial shock and excitement calmed down and the family and I was left to plan the celebrations and ceremonies that would unite her ladyship and her good lady, a Miss Jessica Whitmore, in civil partnership.


Organising her ladyship’s wedding is a task of such magnitude one feels somewhat inadequate to the task, regardless of one’s years of experience in such things. It was for those reason that one decided one would hire a wedding planner and that one would provide consultation and oversight.

Of course, her ladyship would hear nothing of it and she remained adamant that one was more than capable and indicated that she would be most upset were one not to organise her special day. Of course, one couldn’t complain and one must admit to feeling a certain flush of pride at her ladyship’s praise, so one graciously accepted her demand and began making the plans myself.

One had planned on starting right away, but her ladyship insisted one get to know her good lady Miss Whitmore since in most prior times, one has been too busy with the household affairs to be properly introduced. She instructed me to set up a small, private luncheon. One complied, but one could not help but feel a little apprehension. Her ladyship is certain more, one might say familiar with her staff than her mother was, but to take lunch with oneself and her good lady was rather bold, even for her ladyship’s usual inclinations. One must admit that one was unsure of how the event would end. One tries not to involve oneself with the ladyship’s personal affairs and this luncheon would be a direct contradiction to that rule. One couldn’t help but think being with her ladyship and her fiance might be somewhat uncomfortable, given their relationship. Such things aren’t what one chooses to involves oneself in, but one must be tolerant of these things, less one proves oneself a hypocrit.

In truth, one would suppose that one has a certain eagerness to see what all the fuss is about and should be honoured to be thought of so highly by her ladyship as to be formally introduced to her ladyship’s love.