The Law
Now, it should be no surprise I’m a creature of odd habits but since my lovely wife is calling me out on this particular one, I feel it should be brought to your attention.
The Law is pretty simple. Whenever you say “pew pew” it must be immediately followed by the phrase “green laser”. It only applies when spoken (though doing it when writing is encouraged and I only don’t here, though it pains me, for illustration purposes) and you can’t make up for it by saying “green laser” at any point other than immediately following the saying of “pew pew”. Obviously you have to have meant to have said it as part of the sentence “pew pew green laser” but if you forget and catch yourself quickly enough and haven’t said anything since saying “pew pew” saying “green laser” then is tolerated, but frowned upon as lazy and negligent. If the delay is too long though (more than 2 seconds max, and that’s pushing it) then it’s too late.
The colour of laser is not optional; it is always green.
So what happens if you break “The Law”?
You lose respect, of yourself and your peers and furthermore you make the entire world a little bit sadder. If you spot someone breaking “The Law”, you can say “green laser” for them, but it isn’t the same, they’ve still broken “The Law” though your valiant effort reduces the amount of sadness by some small measure. The only real defence against lawbreakers is education.
Thus is “The Law”.