Okay, NaNoWriMo just isn’t for me. I’ve tried, oh how I’ve tried, but it just isn’t happening. This is my 7th or 8th attempt now and like all but 1 its ending in failure. This November I was just too busy, the i-series event just took it out of me and I didn’t recover until I was almost 20000 words behind and even then still felt too mentally drained to be fully creative.
Furthermore, my story sucked. I never got any of the research or organisation stuff I wanted done and so it was utterly, utterly terrible. While that didn’t bother me per se, it made starting writing again hard as the compromise I have with my inner editor is that I will at least try and maintain continuity which necessitates re-reading what I’ve written to remember where I am in the story. Reading you own writing and hating it is incredibly demoralising though and so that’s part of the reason I’m calling it a day.
To be honest, I think I’m throwing in the towel permanently. Winning NaNoWriMo is definitely the excepting to the rules with me and being that I’m often so busy in November I just don’t have the time and this on-going illness of mine really doesn’t benefit from the stress of the challenge. Frankly, I’m not getting anything out of it any more, which is sad because I really did enjoy it and so sadly I have to bud BaNo adeiu until my life has room for it again. I’ll keep on writing of course, but at my own pace on my own terms.
Farewell NaNo, it was fun.