Dark Liquid

Normally, I don’t dream, or more accurately, I never remember my dreams. But last night, that changed.

I had a really bizarre dream, the specifics of which I can’t remember but generally it involved a christmas party at my home (which wasn’t the flat but some kind of 70s style semi-detached house) and someone we invited ended up breaching our trust when Dru and I went out to get something by inviting tons of people we didn’t know, making a huge mess and pimping out our bedroom to these horny strangers she invited.

I was so incredibly angry in the dream because I knew regardless of what she said, Dru and I would be the one to clean things up, plus we had a bunch of strangers in our home we didn’t trust.

I kicked people out and yelled at everyone, then her Dad came to back her up and threatened me, not in a physical way, but a kind of warning of ‘you really want to do this?’ mode. I did want to do it, and somehow we ended up in a paint-fight (weirdos had been painting crap all over the bedroom walls while they were having sex on Dru and I’s bed).

Eventually the dream ended up with me killing the kill and her Dad, setting it up to look like her Dad and sexually assaulted her (by faking evidence) and then burying the body of the girl and dumping the body of her Dad in a lake somewhere, as if he’d deliberately drowned himself for shame of “what he’d done”.

After that, there was much cleaning and hunting down stolen items that strangers had taken when we kicked them out.

It was all very odd and very disturbing, especially since I have only ever been as angry as I was in the dream once in real life, and then I had three people to hold be back when I wanted to go kill someone with rage. Maybe that’s the root of the dream – the fear of my own rage. I don’t really get angry any more, frustrated and annoyed sure, but angry isn’t something that really happens to me much any more and when it does, I hate it and feel really bad and sick about it. Maybe my brains just cleaning up some old issues I have while doing it’s nightly defrag and maintenance?