Disclaimer: This isn’t directed at anyone in particular, I was just inspired to share my personal attitude towards such things by a recent event.
People amuse me sometimes. I find it immensely funny, the pathetic bitchy comments people make, especially when made behind peoples backs to other people. I don’t really understand the motivation, why would you make known such an opinion to others, what does that actually achieve other than attempting to make others feel bad? Which, I suppose is the only motivation, nothing else really makes sense.
However, hearing about such things only makes me laugh, purely because those kind of motivations and the silliness of the actual acts are so pathetic I can’t help but laugh. It’s like watching a baby trying to pick up a ball and when they finally do they can’t quite grab it in their tiny hands and so they end up accidentally pushing it away as their fingers slip off the surface. The baby just tries again in this naive, cute way hoping it can still get the ball and you can’t help but watch and find it so cute and amusing, because while the baby is a little pathetic, it’s sheer tenacity and determination are so endearing. Another, perhaps better analogy I made is the one of the grizzly bear. If a huge grizzly bear comes up and mauls you, that quite bad, but if you shrink that grizzly bear down so it’s the size of a teddy bear and give it mittens, it’s just cute and funny, even if it is still trying to maul you.
Generally, I despise gossip and the kind of idle speculation and judgements people tend to make about others on a whim. Personally I keep my opinions to myself and try not to judge anyone particularly unless they have slighted me specifically and on purpose. Making judgements about people and gossiping about them achieves basically nothing. No-one actually learns anything and nothing actually changes for the better. Surely if you think something about a person is wrong, it might be best to actually inform them and provides good reasons and arguments to back up your claim? Surely if you feel the need to judge in a negative light, then you have a problem with the thing you are judging and the only way to stop yourself feeling that way is to get the thing to change. You can’t do that by gossiping and making snide comments, but you can try by approaching the person in a reasonable manner and outlining your issues.
That’s why I tend not to like talking about people with other people. What do I care if you hate so-and-so? You have an issue with them, you’re perfectly capable of attempting to sort it out and resolve matters. Telling me achieves nothing other than perhaps to make yourself feel more comfortable with your hate. That’s not something I want to be a part of or something I condone which is why when conversations turn to sniping and bitching about someone, I tend to go on autopilot and just nod and/or make non-committal grunts.
Admittedly, I’m a hypocrite. It would be impossible not to. Everyone makes judgements, it’s human nature, but that’s no reason to accept it and all be bastards to each others. I’ve stated my opinion on various things and doing so can have real practical uses, especially when you justify the reasoning behind your opinion, because then something can actually be done to change it. What I don’t like is stating opinions for no reason and with no justification, they help no-one.
Well, maybe they do help someone. The silliness of it all sometimes provides me with some amusement.